An important scientific study published in 2006 in The Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that women who have taken the birth control pill may find that, as well as having had low sex drive when on the pill, that this side effect persists even when they stop taking it. The researchers discovered that the impact the birth control pill has on women’s testosterone levels can cause them to have a permanently suppressed sex drive when compared to women who have never used the birth control pill.
While many of us are well-aware of the fact that the Pill can have the highly ironic side effect of making you less interested in sex, it’s not as widely known that, despite stopping the Pill, some women will not see their sex drive bounce back to what it was prior to the Pill, or to levels comparative to other women.
That might sound pretty scary at first if you are on the Pill or have decided to come off the Pill, but this study is showing what some women will experience if they just go off the birth control pill (as many do in the hope of losing the side effects) and do nothing aside from this to support and boost their sex drive. Although that situation is completely understandable - we assume the impact of any medication will stop once we no longer take it - there are definitely things you can do to make sure you are not one of these women who never see a return of their pre-Pill sex drive. Perhaps you’ve been off the Pill a while even, and you feel like your sex drive isn’t what it was, what you know it could be. It’s absolutely not too late to turn that situation around and get back the sex drive you want.
We’ve previously looked at the different ways the Pill can impact you sex life (including decreased orgasms and increased UTIs) and your relationships (including the type of men you’re attracted to), as well as the best way to approach transitioning off the Pill, but here I want to look at how to tackle this common Pill-related problem of low sexual desire. First of all, let’s look at why it happens so we can understand fully how to fix it.
How the Pill stops your sex drive
The birth control pill suppresses ovulation and replaces your body’s own natural hormone production with a consistent stream of synthetic hormones. As a part of this function, the Pill suppresses your testosterone production. It also increases the production of SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin). When you go off the Pill your body can start producing its own (and more) testosterone again, however the research study I mentioned above found that women are left with 4 times the amount of SHBG they would normally have. SHBG binds with your “free testosterone” in your bloodstream and lowers the levels of available, free, accessible testosterone overall. Free, unbound testosterone is essential for a healthy sex drive, as well as sexual enjoyment.
When you experience your natural cycle, your sex drive will peak around ovulation (and sometimes also pre-menstrually). On the Pill you experience none of these natural hormonal shifts.
How to bring your sex drive back post-Pill
I recommend a three-pronged approach to regain your sex drive after the Pill, whether you’ve only recently come off, plan to soon, or have been off the Pill for a a few months already. I have found this strategy to be effective with the many women I’ve supported in coming off the Pill through the Flo Living protocol. The first part of this strategy focuses on sex drive-boosting foods, the second part centers around sex drive-supportive supplements, and the third looks at adjusting exactly how you approach sex.
Part 1: Let food be your foreplay
You can support your endocrine system with the right foods that will help your body produce enough testosterone to give your sex drive the boost it needs. After coming off the Pill you will be depleted of some key nutrients that will also contribute to connecting issues like low moods and poor sleep. Eating a diet rich in hormonally supportive foods will be key in avoiding all the withdrawal effects of the Pill - including rebound hormonal acne, weight issues, infertility issues.
Focus on well-researched aphrodisiacs like avocados (full of bioidentical testosterone), honey (packed with hormone regulating boron), strawberries (an ancient remedy that really works), and dark chocolate (for feeling energized and content). You’ll also need to nourish your tired post-Pill adrenals and stabilize your mood - you can do this by avoiding the caffeine, eating regularly, and upping the essential fatty acids in your diet. Try mixing up my signature sex drive-boosting smoothie a couple of times per week - the Passion Pour.
Part 2: Get sexy with supplements
No supplement will change your sex drive on its own, but as part of a wider hormonally supportive diet, they can work wonders. Try maca powder in your smoothies - a well-researched root extract that will help increase testosterone levels. I also recommend adding Zinc, Magnesium, Evening Primrose and Rhodiola to your daily routine to improve your energy and mood, as well as increase your desire for and enjoyment of sex. These supplements will support your adrenals, up testosterone levels, give you bigger and better orgasms. Zinc and Magnesium are especially important for preventing the binding of free testosterone and keeping free testosterone available - the importance of which is shown in the aforementioned research.
Part 3: Take it slow
The third part of my strategy is to shift your approach to sex. Taking the birth control pill, especially long term, can change how we think and feel about sex. When you come off the Pill you will need to work with your new desire level in ways that will let you have the time you need to feel turned on and ready. The effects of the sex drive-boosting foods and supplements won’t be immediate and while you’re waiting for your testosterone levels to bounce back, you can start with this. It’s all about building a new pathway towards becoming aroused.
Focusing more on actual foreplay (not just food as foreplay!) with long make-out sessions with your man or indulging in some literotica to get in the mood can help. If you’ve gotten used to not having a lot of sex because you just didn’t feel like it, start practicing being sexual regularly in different ways. Our sex drive is something that can disappear purely through lack of practice! You might need to make a leap of faith that you will get turned on by starting out small and slow with sexual explorations - the more you do, the more you’ll want. Self-pleasure can certainly be a part of this.
Know that as your natural cycle phases return you may also want to Cycle Sync (™) your sex life to make the most of your shifting sexuality. Once you are fully living in your FLO, you will notice that how you feel about your partner and your interest in sex changes depending what phase you are in at that time.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this - the science of your body is on your side!
to your FLO,
Alisa
Good things come in threes:
I want to hear from you!
First, have you recently stopped the Pill?
Second, do you have low sex drive?
Third, everyone you know is hormonal – spread a little good ovary karma and share this article on social 😉
Feeling Frazzled, Bloated, and Unsexy?
If you’ve noticed more distance between cycles…or some periods are light and some are super heavy…your sex drive is flat…and you’re more moody in general (anxious, depressed, or both)…and especially if you’re in your mid 30’s and up…
Your hormones may be aging faster than they should. But you can start reversing this process by adding one key micronutrient that you’re likely missing.
Get your free report: The Magic Missing Micronutrient to Get Your Sexy Back.
hi my name is luke,
my girlfriend has been off the pill for about 1.5 years now an her sex drive has gone completey. its at the point where she does't feel it at all . its so frustrating because i am a real sexual person. an sex means a lot to me .i can feel myself feeling distant because of it will do what ever it takes i just want to get her out of this rut she is in for both of us.please an advise would be great!!!
Hi Luke,
I love that you are writing in to support your lady! It sounds like she has some hormonal/adrenal issues! If your girlfriend is open to it, I suggest you buy my book, WomanCode, as a place to start! There is so much that she can do, and also that you can do to support her!!
Let me know how I can support you and her!
Alisa
I don't know you but I am in the exact same boat me and my girlfriend haven't had sex in 10 months before she started taking that pill we used to all the time I am a very sexual person too it really sucks I'm planning on starting this what it said to above I've been researching the reading many things if this doesn't work plan on trying libido supplements
I need help!!! I'm a typical fat forty female. I have adrenal fatigue, hypothyroidism and now recently discovered my testosterone is >0.02 and SHBG is through the roof. I was referred to an endo but my medical aid is exhausted. I decided to take matters into my own hands. After some research I realised that the pill was causing the high SHBG levels. I stopped it immediately, I'm taking a hormone booster from Solal that decreases the SHBG (hopefully). I changed my diet and have hot lemon water in the mornings and a diet rich in strawberries, avos and all things good. I'm now feeling a bit low, depressed, and experiencing breast tenderness from going off the pill, it sucks. Am I playing with fire not to go to the endo? She wants to inject me with testosterone treatment and I just don't want to go there...will my plan work? What to do? Heeeeeeellllp
Hi Susan,
I hope you are able to do the Monthly Flo protocol I offer! I know it would help!
I would certainly keep your doctor in the loop, and get yourself checked frequently. Please make sure that you have some plan in place.
Alisa
Hi. I am 19 and i started taking birth control pills last month and now I want to give up on it. I used to produce enough lubrication everytime i had sex with my boyfriend that it was so comfortable and enjoyable for me. Sex is so painful now I am never wet as much as i used to be, i have severe mood swings and going into depression. Do you think that taking meds for one month only and then stop taking it would give me back my libdio?
Hi Sarah,
The pill will affect hormone production. Since you have been on only a shirt while, you may simply rebound after 1 month or so. Please make sure that you and your boyfriend have a backup birth control plan.
Alisa
Hello, I've been on BC for about 10 years now. I'm 28. First the pill, then depo shot and now the pill again. I've been with my fiancé for over 4 years and when we first met I was doing the depo shot and now I am on the pill. At first our sex life was great as all new relationships. But after about a year I lost desire, on rare occasions I want sex. And I rarely wanna masturbate too. I've considered getting off the pill cause not wanting sex is having an effect on my relationship cause I don't even have the desire to please him. What is wrong with me?
Hi Leslie,
You are responding to the hormones in the birth control - this is a normal side effect!Please discuss alternate birth control options with your doctor and with your boyfriend! There are other methods that are healthier for you, and that will help restore your libido!
Alisa
Hi, my girlfriend has been on the pill for just over a year and I’ve noticed a steady decline in our sex, she use to be really into it, we’ve definitely had some issues, but none that I think would cause this considering we don’t really fight about anything, we are both reasonable people. But she can’t get wet, she told me that she does still self pleasure , but she says it’s significantly less, do you think she should come off of the pill to see how she feels? Idk she had a doctors a appointment next week, oh we still do have sex but it’s not as often and not as pleasurable for either of us!
Hi Jessie,
One of the hormonal side effects of the pill is reduced libido. She can talk to her doctor about the copper IUD, which is hormone free - this works great for some and not so great for others as they experience side effects. You will need to wear condoms and be proactive during this process as well. Good luck!
Alisa
Pill fucked you up, get off it, it’s garbage, you dr e will come back it takes about 4 months, trust me I went through it all
All of these articles have saved me a lot of heacedhas.
I have been off of birth control for 6 months after having my fallopian tubes removed. I was on the pill for 13 years and my gyn had told me to stay on it continuously and skip my periods. Even when I started having menopausal side effects she kept saying it was fine so I found a new gyn. Now I'm hoping my period comes back but I'm still having menopausal symptoms. Hot flashes are subsiding and I'm sleeping better and feeling less fatigued but I seem to have vaginal atrophy and pelvic dysfunction . I get tears from sex. I have zero libido. My boyfriend is very patient and understanding but I need my drive back! I'm taking herbal supplements and omegas and everything natural I can. What else can I do? Is there hope? I'm 36!
Alisa! I am so glad I found this page. Please help.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I got on the pill (Alesse) immediately after we became sexual, and my sex drive was fine. When we were together, it was magic. It felt like fireworks. I was insatiable and we were having sex at least once a day (sometimes two or three!). I had been taking the pill for three months when I stopped in October of 2015. We had become long distance, so I didn't want to bother taking it. I think I did something horrible. We were long distance for about a year and I went on and off birth control pills about four times in one year. Like, if I knew I was seeing him on January 15th, I'd start taking the pills again on January 1st and stop once we had to separate. Rinse and repeat. I was not taking pills when we weren't physically in the same city. I was only taking them when I needed to.
My sex life has been destroyed and I think it's because of this on-and-off method birth control method I was stupidly using. I was putting my body through hell and now it doesn't want to work properly 🙁 Not only has my sex life gone, but the last time I went off birth control pills for good in July of 2016, I fell into a really deep depression. I have been off hormonal birth control for 10 months now and my sex drive STILL isn't back and I still feel depressed some days, but nothing compared to last summer. Now my boyfriend and I are living in the same city and I dread having to have sex with him. Will it ever come back???? Have I ruined my sex drive forever??? I love him and I feel awful that I can't physically express that to him anymore.
Please help.
I'm in a very similar situation. Have you found anything that helps? 🙁 This sucks.
Will my libido will be back to normal within a week after stopping the pills I only took the pills for 14 days or how long?
First time I take this pills I have only taking them for two weeks I notes a decrease in sex drive if I stop now how long will it take me to get my sex drive and lubricant back I will be with my boy friend for the first time in about a week so I want to know if I stop the pills now will I be ready like before in a week
Hi,
I take BC 5 months before our first meeting and just stop taking about 2 months now since our meeting is over. Im planning to take i again two months before our next meeting,
Question is, since im taking the pill my desire to have sex is fine just like im not taking any. but after i stop taking it, i realized i never wanting to do masturbate either or even feel horny when ever we talk about sexy thing.
Was that happen becoz of BC? What should i do?
I’ve been on BC for 2 and a half years and I recently stopped taking it and I’m still experiencing low sex drive and it’s taking a toll on my relationship...will it ever come back or should I try some women viagra???
I was on the pill for roughly 8 month, during this time I struggled a lot with feeling attracted to my boyfriend and genuinely only enjoyed sex 2 or 3 times in the length of time I was on the pill out of a total of over 30. this would really worry and annoy me where I would identify end up crying before we where able to finished having sex. I have now stopped the pill for nearly a month after crying to get the copper coil in but had to have it removed less that a day later due to extreme abdominal pain. My mood feels a bit better however I now feel that I'm not even sexually attracted to my boyfriend, I'm not sure if it's just that our spark is gone or the pill has caused me to feel this way but even if he tries to touch me I feel no please and am automatically turned off, this all still leaves me very upset and will come home confused and crying most nights. I really need help I don't know if the issue is caused by the pill or our relationship isn't going anywhere??
My libido came back!!! I am so excited, and feeling blessed. And this happened after I had my 2nd child via csec with a tubal litigation. Because of this, ive been completely off my pills, and now that I am 4 months into recovery, I feel like my body is making a drastic change. Now it is just a challenge of overcoming the mental aspect. Soo I just want you ladies to know. Dont give up! ^-^
I was on the pill for few weeks then I shifted to depo twice I lost all my sexual lubricants of which I had much but now I don’t have any ,I lost the appetite for sex and I also feel pain so am asking will my lubricants come back
Hi Claire,
It sounds like the hormones you are taking are effecting you. I would discuss these changes with your doctor and decide which birth control would be best for you!
Alisa
I started birth control to change my period cycle .... I’ve had one pack .... when will my period come back including my sex libido and lubricant ?
I have been on Tri-Sprintec BC Pills for going on 6 years. I just have currently realized that it may be the BC causing my rapid decrease in libido! I have no desire and I noticed this after my second child which is the moment I started taking the Tri-Sprintec. I was wondering if stopping the pill would bring back my desire. My husband and I have been through many sad talks bc of this and although he is supportive, I know he is feeling rejected. I do still make love even when I’m not in the mood bc I know he needs that but I want so badly to feel that fire again!! Would stopping my BC help this or what can I do to have my life back. I am also dealing with anxiety and mood swings. I’m not sure if maybe this is also caused by the pill or not! Thank you in advance!
Hi Michelle,
Ugh, yes! I hear you. The pill can definitely have this effect on women. I would try to speak with your doctor about switching the pill, or better yet going on the non hormonal IUD - this way there will be no hormonal influence from the outside. You may also want to look at supporting your adrenals, which are the home of libido in the body.
Alisa
I’ve been on the birth control implant for a year and just had it removed last week. I just want to know about how long will it take for my sex drive to come back. Me and my boyfriend are waiting...
Hi, thanks for publishing this article! I am 26, and used to have a super healthy libido until I started birth control pills. When I noticed how they were affecting me, I stopped using them. This was 4 months ago, however, and I still have zero libido. My vagina is super dry, I feel no arousal whatsoever. Am I doomed??? Do I need to wait even longer??? I am starting to feel hopeless because I just want to go back to the way I used to feel, but nothing seems to be working. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Hi Anna,
Sometimes being on hormonal birth control can have an effect on how our body will produce hormones. Sometimes simply going off and giving it a little time helps, and sometimes we actually have to get involved and do some healing and rebalancing. But, you are NOT doomed! If you want some ideas of where to start making shifts, you can pick up my book, WomanCode. You can also get more personalized support through my online program, and/or through speaking with one of my coaches.
Alisa
Hi, I've been taking a hormonal combination birth control pill for 2 years now, and my sex drive is non-existant. It's very distressing for me since I used to be a very sexual person.
I stopped taking the birth control a couple of weeks ago and I'm really worried since my sex drive isn't back. I'm going to do everything labeled in this article, especially the vitamins and foods. My question is; What happens if this doesnt work? Are there additional avenues I can take just in case? I'm so afraid of the possibility of my sex drive never coming back
Hello, reading the comments and mine is abit of a different story I’ve been on the POP pill for BC since I was 14 (sexually active I know young but it is what it is) I’m now 24 so ten years long time. I have always had a very very healthy sex drive even on the pill I’ve stopped taking it a week ago and now I feel horny still but not able to get an happy ending (if you get my drift) my husband has never had a problem getting me there ever before and we’ve done things we definitely know work so I’m just wanting to know will it come back or is this life now
Hi, idk when I started taking birth control. But I orgasmed from actual sex once in my life while with my fiancé. I haven’t been able to ever since. I stopped pills a long time ago too. Then I started feeling painful sex. I was dry and I would tear easily. Painful. I never went to see a gyn about this because I didn’t know how it works. Or who to call. It’s been 2 years since and the pain is much less, but only until I started using a different type of condom. And a natural lube. Because I can’t get wet anymore, nor turned on. My fiancé clearly gets depressed that he can’t “turn me on or make me orgasm” but I told him I’m just not normal. And he’s very understanding and kind. Of course I can self pleasure and we do oral perfectly fine. It’s just penetration, even using a vibrator won’t work while we’re having sex. Also, I get very horny, but I won’t get wet anymore. What is wrong with me, and who should I see for this? Because I want answers and to fix this.