When I was working on my own health and, at the same time, developing the Flo Living protocol, I was surprised to realize that there was this huge emotional component to embodying my cycle and working with, rather than against, my body and my hormones. Specifically, I found that it was really important for me to transform how I was engaging in my relationship at the time to fully live in my Flo. I needed to change the dynamic of my relationship with my partner in order to heal my PCOS, acne, and weight issues – to live the life I wanted to be living.
I launched into research on the masculine and feminine energies. This may sound a little woo-woo at first, but stay with me – it’s actually a strong, vital element of Traditional Chinese Medicine practices. It’s not about telling women to speak softly and be submissive or teaching men to be tough and aggressive – as you might expect – in fact, it’s quite the opposite!
Through my work with women at Flo Living, I have discovered that one of the central issues facing couples today is the fact that both the man and the woman are living in their masculine energy all of the time, every single day. This is taking a real toll on their ability to communicate, be intimate, and connect.
By following my model, built around my hormonal cycle, you can have a happier relationship in just 4 weeks!
The relationship issue that causes tension, fights, and breakups
The first thing I learned in my research was that being a man or a woman does not give a person more or less access to masculine or feminine energy – we all have both energies within us. Learning how to balance both of these helps us to live a more physically, emotionally, and psychologically healthy and vibrant life. It’s also the key to a better relationship with all the great sex, connected talks, romance, support, and fun that we all desire.
Embracing your feminine energy isn’t about living in that zone all of the time. For many women (including me, back then) it’s primarily about accessing that energy (often for the first time in your adult life) and using it to your benefit. Before I began working on my WomanCode protocol, I had no idea what experiencing my feminine energy would look or feel like. I was hormonally imbalanced and totally out of touch with my body.
One of the quickest, simplest ways to get in touch with your feminine energy is to get in touch with your menstrual cycle and start honoring those changes that happen in your body, your hormones. The way your brain chemistry changes across your cycle takes in both masculine and feminine energies, shifting from phase to phase. We aren’t the same, consistent person all of the time, and I think that, even if we were, we would find that really dull, for ourselves and our partners, long term.
So, how do you know when you’ve lost touch with your feminine energy and are spending all day in the masculine – especially when it comes to your relationship? There are some clear signs.
The 4 signs that you’re experiencing a masculine/feminine energy imbalance
- You feel disconnected from your emotions and physical sensations.
- You find it difficult to enjoy sex and receive nurturing and intimacy from your partner.
- You find it hard to verbalize your feelings to your partner.
- You feel isolated and unsupported in your relationship.
Cycle sync your relationship – for a happier, sexier, and easier partnership in just 4 weeks!
Cycle syncing your relationship has so many benefits. You create this dance of energies where each of you take on the leadership and the receptive role at different times. As women we want to take the lead, but doing that all of the time is exhausting and not enjoyable. It’s good to be the one who’s on the receiving end of your partner’s leadership sometimes – it makes sure we stay open to receiving love and pleasure too.
Here’s how I cycle sync my relationship to my hormonal phases:
Follicular phase – Keep it Fresh – This is the time when I like to suggest my husband and I do something new together. Or let him come up with ideas! My hormones have me in a place where I’m super receptive to new experiences and I have a ton of energy. New experiences bring us together, create memories, and help us to bond further. Take a class, go to a gallery opening, hike someplace you’ve never been, visit a new city. Doing something fun in the outdoors is even better as all that fresh air amps up the oxytocin and makes us feel close. It’s so important in a long term relationship to keep things fresh and exciting by breaking the expected schedule and the follicular phase gives you a great opportunity (and reminder) to do this on a monthly basis.
Ovulatory phase – Body and Soul Connection – A great time to socialize with your friends! We can’t always just be together alone as a couple, that way leads to isolation and boredom. Use this time to make plans with your friends. You’ll feel chatty and engaged. With your partner – utilize how your hormones have aligned to convey to your goals, dreams, and fantasies. We like to take this time to touch base on what we want from our future together, where we see ourselves in 5, 10, 20 years time. We also take advantage of my soaring sex drive and the attraction pheromones that are flying around our home! (To cycle sync your sex life and boost your libido with food foreplay read this.)
Luteal phase – Relationship Remodeling – I see this as the most important time for my relationship. Since living in my Flo, I’ve not experienced PMS in the way most people think of it – I don’t get depressed, anxious or angry. Our hormones align to give us increased clarity at this time and our attentions will certainly be drawn to where something isn’t working in our relationship. If you’re hormonally balanced then you will be able to express this insight without fogging your feelings with getting enraged. If you do find yourself really angry at your partner during this phase every single month that goes by, then you might need to find a new partner!
Your hormones become like a truth serum and it really is best to just let what your thinking get aired out in the open, for all involved. Pent up resentment helps neither of you. When something bothers me, I just say it immediately, regardless of my phase. I had to learn to do that over time and it took practice not to just store my annoyances away. If you let a feeling fester it will make you feel frantic and then the luteal phase hormones will force you to spill in a way that won’t get you what you need and want. Stop biting your tongue, let your hormones help you convey your concerns. Your man will appreciate it so much more if you are straightforward and direct, rather than expecting him to read your mind.
This is also when we tend to focus on our domestic duties. It sounds unappealing, I know, but to get the most pleasure out of your relationship all month long you do have to attend to the day-to-day stuff of life – the budgeting, the cleaning, the organizing – and you should be doing it together. Sharing this burden is going to better your partnership massively. If you clear time and space to attend to these necessary things, and share out the tasks equally, then neither of you will feel overwhelmed or under-supported. Your hormones are aligned here to make attention-to-detail your favorite thing and you’ll find repetitive uninspiring tasks much easier to tackle.
Menstrual phase – Make it Me-time – I like my alone time during my menstrual phase. It’s when I really indulge in my self care practices and take some quiet moments out. We all need time apart and alone. What’s the saying…absence makes the heart grow fonder! Ask your partner to line up his guys’ nights out, so you can stay home, watch a movie, read a book, or have a close friend over for dinner.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
to your FLO,
Good things come in threes:
I want to hear from you!
First, do you struggle to connect with your partner?
Second, do you want to cycle sync your relationship?
Third, everyone you know is hormonal – spread a little good ovary karma and share this article on social 😉
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