Using the birth control pill has become as much a part of a long-term, committed romantic relationship as date nights and trips to IKEA. We’ve come to assume that using the Pill means responsible future-planning for careers and children, in the right order, and a worry-free, spontaneous sex life. But what if the Pill could actually be holding us back from finding a fulfilling love life?
For hormonally-sensitive woman like myself and those who deal with hormonal imbalance issues as I have in the past, it’s not a good medical treatment for symptoms such as acne or PCOS as when you eventually come off nothing will have changed, and some things may have even gotten worse. I don’t even like the Pill as the only form of contraception, if I’m honest, because I think women should consider continuing to use condoms in a committed relationship and develop a sense of cycle-tracking and awareness.
We may hear about some of the side effects of the birth control pill like dangerous blood clots or weight gain, but many of us are not told of the full consequences of switching off our body’s natural hormones and replacing them with a stream of their synthetic equivalent. Hormones help us to interact with the world, impact how we perceive other people and how they perceive us. There are a plethora of studies that suggest women using the Pill will find almost every single element of their love life is impacted by that choice on a fundamental, biochemical level.
Here are just 5 of the ways that the Pill might be messing with your love life
- You Like the Smell of the Wrong Guys. Multiple studies have shown that the Pill disrupts your pheromones (which are ectohormones, they act outside of the body rather than inside). Pheromones create our own personal perfume and we use this scent to match up with a mate that’s genetically suitable. We are supposed to be attracted with men who are genetically dissimilar to ourselves, as a consequence lowering the chance of miscarriage, increasing the likelihood of having a healthy baby, as well as making for more satisfying sex and a happier relationship. If you’re on the Pill, you don’t seek out this ideal man, instead you seek out men who “smell” like you – which makes for a bad romantic and health match.
- You Become Less Attractive. Women who use the Pill do not secrete copulins, which are pheromones specific to the vagina that draw sexual interest from men. Copulin production is cyclical, developing to increase production when you’re at your most fertile – during the ovulatory phase. As the Pill prevents ovulation, you never experience this peak. Several studies have shown men find women who are using the Pill less attractive than those who are not using the Pill and experiencing their own natural cycles. If you’re dating, being on the Pill could be coming between you and your perfect person.
- It Gives You Man-Goggles. If you start a relationship when you’re on the Pill then you may find, if and when you come off, that you’re no longer attracted to your partner. This makes sense – your primordial instincts have been thrown off, meaning you matched with a Mr Wrong. One study found that unless your mate is objectively very good-looking, you may then find them unattractive. Another study discovered that women on the Pill will choose more feminine-featured men than those not on the Pill, who go for a more masculine type, which goes some way to explaining the change of perspective. Once off the Pill, you may find your priorities and desires have changed within a longterm relationship.
- It Can Permanently Suppress Your Sex Drive. Naturally women’s sex drive should peak around ovulation, but the Pill prevents this from happening. Not only that, but the synthetic hormone mix destroys your testosterone reserves, which, along with a holistically balance hormonal system, is a key to your sexual desire and enjoyment. Studies have shown the Pill can even lower your ability to orgasm and make orgasms less intense. The Pill is also linked to increased urinary tract infections and yeast infections, which we all know to be sex-Kryptonite. If you’re suffering with low libido right now, coming off the Pill might be step one, but step two could be making some diet and lifestyle changes to boost your drive.
- It Can Make Your Mood Swings Worse. The Pill has been linked to depression and anxiety, particularly in those women who may have a history of these mental health issues. Many women are put on the Pill for what’s actually a bad case of PMS (which can be completely cured naturally), only to find that it makes their mood swings worse. For some, the mood changes manifest themselves as a bad case of the “blahs” (otherwise known as anhedonia). Women are supposed to feel a range of emotions throughout their natural cycle, but being in touch with the ebbs and flows of your feelings can actually enhance your relationship (http://www.floliving.com/relationship/). The Pill suppresses these ebbs and flows and that has different consequences for different women. However, it’s obvious that feeling low or anxious as a result of the Pill is going to impact your relationship satisfaction and cause friction.
All of that AND it doesn’t correct the root causes of why your period might be messed up in the first place.
If this information is making you question using the birth control pill for contraception or as a medical treatment, follow my protocol to make the transition into your Flo (https://www.floliving.com/quit-pill-without-getting-symptoms-back/). If you’re using the Pill, you can start this protocol now to ensure the switch is smooth and that you avoid seeing the return of any prior symptoms. I have supported many women in coming off the Pill and helped them reconnect with their bodies (https://www.floliving.com/how-to-transition-off-the-birth-control-pill/) and I’d love to support you in this too!
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
to your FLO,
Alisa
Good things come in threes:
I want to hear from you!
First, do you take the birth control pill?
Second, what are your past experiences with birth control?
Third, everyone you know is hormonal – spread a little good ovary karma and share this article on social 😉
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Thank you Alisa,
Maybe your medical research and methodology will be the breaking ground to healing from cancer in women. And that using preventive measures and natural cycles is the first step towards a cancer free women ( if not hereditary in some cases)…Anyway just my thought.
I’m blessed to have found your website. It has answered so many of doubts and questions. Thank you so much. Now am trying to change my lifestyle/diet to bring back my “mojo” (hormonal balance).
I wonder, I never wanted to use the pill, but for three years I have the gynefix. Using condoms just never worked out well, I even think i was allergic to the latex, but it also stopped the game to much and worked against our sex-life. But I wonder if this copper coil also influences my hormonal balance, I’m exhausted for the last 2 years; but there might be also a bunch of other reasons for that, like a divorce, housemoving, stress, aso… So I would like to exclude this option, or know if it would be better to remove it again. Do you think it possible this coil is also influencing my balance?
And thank you! I bought your book and am studying it for the moment. 🙂
I have PCOS and was put on the pill to help regulate my cycle and help me be more fertile. I was told that I would be most fertile the month or two after ending the pill and did end up conceiving and have a beautiful son. I know when I first got on the pill, right before i was married and was on it for almost a year, I felt like my sex drive was wonky, so when I ran out, while I was out of town, I just never refilled it. I was able to enjoy sex more. I don’t feel like I had that same reaction the second time I went on the pill. Now I couldn’t really tell you how it may or may not have affected me hormonally and mood wise because I for the most part felt like I was fine on it. That was the same year I lost my dad and my hubby and I almost split (which may had been a factor of mood from the pill, but not sure).
I feel like it worked for me to help me regulate and conceive, so in that, it is worth the risks.
I went off the pill after taking it for 20 years (!) and stopped being attracted to my husband. My taste in men completely changed., I spent my entire life thinking I hated sex and that something was wrong with me but now I suddenly enjoy it. I feel in such a bad place in my life right now because of this and feel so lost 🙁 How come these effects aren’t known from every woman.
I’ve just started using “the pill” about 3 months ago. My boyfriend, sister, the rest of the family, and I have definitely noticed a change in my emotions. I’ve been very, very moody… even more-so than usual! While I usually do experience depression and other PMS symptoms before menstruation, it has certainly become more pronounced now. And not to mention… I went from not having periods at all to having ones that carry on for 15 days. Ugh!
Hoping to look for another form of birth control soon. With what mine’s been putting me through (and your above reasoning) I’ve about had enough of “the pill!”
Thanks for a good, informational read. Your articles are very impressive!
XOXO- Phantom
I’ve been the absolute worst version of me on the pill. It’s making me super moody and lash out at my SO, I’m so tired of it and I think today might be the day I stop taking it.
I believe that too many things are put down to hormones and monthly cycle that many of us women are being miss diagnosed and receive the wrong treatment or none at all or just completelydismissed things injected into them or implanted or put on the pill for no reason except for the convenience of the medical profession why should we have to still suffer these injustices the depot injection really messed me up both physically and emotionally now they say I need to have a hysterectomy and my partner says that he might find all this too much for him not once did anyone ask how I feel how is any of this fair he will probably be with someone much younger than me in a few months