Low Libido?
What to do if it’s happening to you!
While it’s been a few years since we’ve seen formal studies on low libido in young women, we are seeing more and more social studies coming out that suggest young people (women included) are having less sex.
A new study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior showed that people are having far less sex now than they did even ten years ago. Another recent study from the same journal showed heterosexual women are having fewer orgasms than any other demographic.
Although our culture is becoming more “sex positive” and embracing sexuality as a healthy, essential part of our lives, it seems that we’re still having less sex and not always enjoying the sex we have to the fullest. Although our sex lives is a complex issue with many impacting factors, low libido or lack of sex drive is definitely one of the drivers behind this trend.
More and more women are coming to FLO Living reporting that their sex drive barely exists whether they are single or coupled, with or without kids. Having no to low libido is a common symptom that sometimes stands on its own, but more often than not is accompanied by other factors: fertility struggles, menstrual difficulties, adrenal fatigue and/or low energy.
If you can relate, then listen up. I’m calling this a silent epidemic, but don’t worry, help is at hand.
I believe that you have the power to shift this trend by making simple dietary and mindset changes. And we believe it because we’ve seen it. Women who follow the Sexy FLO program report incredible changes in their libido and energy, and we want to see the same happen for you. To start, let’s identify what could be the cause of your lack in sexual energy.
Main underlying causes of low libido in women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s:
- Over-working. Keeping up with insane work schedules in addition to
other personal obligations adds up to a common result: burnout. In some countries they’ve had even to implement laws around when employees can and should check email in order to ease the work/life imbalance. Constant connection to the office via our smartphones can mean we’re never not working. Too much stress and too much demand on your mental and physical energy results in the depletion of your poor little adrenal glands, the powerhouse glands that are responsible for the output of your stress hormones and most of your testosterone, which is where that desire for sex comes from. Increased output of stress hormones means decreased output of juicy sex hormones. Stress can delay your period and make you gain weight – all because of how it impacts your hormone balance.
- Birth control or other medications. If you’re on the pill, anti-depressants, or other medication, this something very important to consider when it comes to your sex drive and your hormonal balance, as very often a side-effect is a low libido. We encourage you to talk to your doctor about this potential and partner with other practitioners to find the right kind of support and wean off what is not necessary for you. The birth control pill has a lot of side effects including several that directly impact your love life. And anti-depressants have been shown to negatively affect a woman’s fertility.
- Masculine energy dynamics. When I developed the FLO Living protocol to treat my PCOS, I launched into research on the masculine and feminine energies. This might sound a little woo-woo at first, but stay with me – it’s actually a strong, vital element of Traditional Chinese Medicine practices. It’s not about telling women to speak softly and be submissive or teaching men to be tough and aggressive – as you might expect – in fact, it’s quite the opposite. As a result of the demand on women to perform well in business, to sometimes be the primary breadwinner of the family, and to compete with the go-go-go energy of much of the working world, there has been a tendency for many women to get locked into that kind of “masculine” energy, which can be counter-productive when it comes to getting intimate in the bedroom. We all know that getting turned on is not as simple as pushing a button. The fear and anxiety producing part of the brain – the amygdala – needs to be turned off in order for a woman to get turned on, as Dr. Louann Dr. Brizendine, author of The Female Brain, explains in this article with Oprah and Dr. Oz. “It requires turning off the worrywart circuits in the female brain to have an orgasm,” Dr. Brizendine explains. We all need to balance our masculine and feminine energies – both women and men – as they are in us all. Once we lean too far to the masculine, we can suffer with the side effects.
What you can do to naturally improve a low libido
Now that you’ve identified what might be causing your low libido, let’s talk about practical tools you can begin using now to get your sexy back.
- Support your adrenal glands. Especially if a demanding work schedule is a reality for you, you’ll need to take extra good care of your body and in particular your adrenal glands to avoid symptoms of adrenal fatigue. Taking Jarrow’s Adrenal Optimizer is one way to begin this process of adrenal support. You can also add these researched aphrodisiacs to your daily routine to supercharge your sex drive.
- Make pleasure part of your job. Don’t just survive through your day, thrive within it. Adding pleasure to your day in simple non-sexual ways can greatly improve your ability to feel pleasure in the bedroom. Try bringing flowers to your desk or playing music you love during your morning commute. Indulge in body lotions or perfumes (organic, of course!) that make you feel beautiful. Get regular massages. Check out the ideas of our favorite pleasure revolutionary, Mama Gena. You can bring more feminine energy into your working day in some easy, simple ways. I have 4 daily practices I use to ground myself in my feminine energy and make my busy schedule work for me.
- Take matters into your own hands. You need to ask for you what you want, but first you need to know what you want. Make time to research your sexuality and the underlying causes of your low libido. Read tasteful erotica and see what turns you on – take a wander around Literotica.com. Read about your anatomy and the physiology behind turn-on, and get to grips with the 5 Cs of self-pleasure. Once you know yourself better, don’t be shy to ask for assistance or experimentation from your partner. No partner? No problem. Then you can really take matters into your own hands more often, if you know what we mean. But give vibrators a miss, they’re actually limiting your pleasure.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
To your FLO,
Alisa
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Thank you so much for this article! I really like your tip about making pleasure part of your job. It really does help to enjoy your whole day from morning to evening. I look forward to your next post, will definitely share with my friends.
What if we have tried this for 7 months but nothing happens? I was on the implanon for 3 years and got off it 7 months ago and nothing has come back libido wise or sex drive. I have been getting frustrated that I cannot have an orgasm and makes sex not appealing what can I do? I have tried everything I even went to my doctor and he prescribed me an anti-depressant! When I found that out I stopped taking it because it was just making me more tired. Please help.
You might just be asexual. Asexuals don’t experience sexual attraction and in some cases have no sex drive whatsoever! And that’s perfectly normal and okay 🙂
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I think that it’s a very individual thing… some women are more comfortable in their own skins, more confident, the changing hormonal mix they encounter during perimenopause (the years of hormonal fluctuations before a woman goes through menopause) can have a positive (or a negative) effect – often the vaginal tissues thin due to those changes and initially can be very beneficial as it makes everything feel much better – in some it can go too far and it ends up feeling more painful. Many women are done having children and their children are older/grown and they have more free time to devote to things they enjoy and to their relationships.
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Having been on Nuvaring for many years it has completely wreaked havic on my libido. I didn’t really know it was my birth control that was affecting my sexual desire levels. Recently my fiancé has deployed and I have been able to come off of my birth control completely. He has been gone since May and there had been no change to my libido at all since he left. Recently, I was introduced to this all natural product Probio 5 by a coworker/friend of mine and I started taking it the day before Thanksgiving. I started taking two pills initially and felt nothing at first. Then my stomach started cramping slightly so I was told to either increase my water intake or to cut back to one pill a day until my body adjusted to it. So I started taking one pill per day and now three weeks later I feel really good with no cramping at all. My libido is completely changing. I had no desire at all to have sex before. Now I desire it a few times a day (but can’t do anything with him overseas). I also use to be really dry and now I am starting to feel moisture where I had not previously. So now while I know my birth control was decreasing my libido, Probio5 is helping to correct that. It was so bad that I had considered changing to my birth control to the non-hormonal IUD but now I don’t need to do that. Since I am so pleased with this product I decided to become a part time distributor for the company where I can buy the product at a discount and make some money while doing it. Should you be interested in purchasing this product or are interested in an income opportunity, please go to http://www.plexusslim.com/shanty . Just an fyi, one can safely take up to four Probio 5 capsules in a day. I will try going back to taking two just prior to him coming home. I also had the benefit of reduced fatigue, sound sleep and no cramps during my cycle while taking this product. I make no claims as to the benefits of this product for you, however, I couldn’t be happier with it.
What’s wrong with low libido? Why is it bad for man or woman to have low libido? It isn’t bad at all and actually it should be encouraged, maybe there would be less popping out the babies and families that can’t afford children.
Low libido is the evolution of humans because it means we are evolving from our primitive barbaric side. Sex and sexual visuals is all primitive and was useful ages ago when people had to make babies to populate the Earth. But with further advancements in technology, soon we won’t need sex as it won’t do a thing for us. The primitive genes will be bred out and soon maybe humans will, all around, become better. I am eager for this day.
You’re a stupid ass person!
Yes they are a stupid ass, sex is not all about an animalistic desire to procreate. For many couples its a deep spiritual and emotional bonding experience. I for one believe our emotional connections are part of what delegates us from the animals. Furthermore its about enjoying one another. Obviously, if people are on this page low libido is a problem for them. I could see why no one wants to sleep with this nimrod, but for the rest of us stay positive.
i im 23 and i am in a relationship for allmost a year now and we love eachoder very much and we both believe that we found THe One for us…are sex life was very VERY active and beautiful..( he is acctualy my first man ) and we had sex litteraly every day sometimes 2 or 3 times…i was the happiest persone alive..i love my boyfriend i love my faily and i love my collage…but two weeks agko i stardet to feel depressed i looked it up i i figured i had seasonal affective disorder, but since it happened the first time so strong i projekted the feeling to my relationship and atardet worrying about WHY AM NOT EXIDET AS I USED TO BE..for egzample when i think about are future together ( but im not exidet about ANITHING im ususali passionte about everything xP traveling, art, reading…) and afcore as a resaulte of all this my libido is allmost non existened and i allso made a HUGE mistake about KONSTANTLY OWERTHINKING my every thaught and checking myself and how i feel expecting my former passion to comme bac any minute…the sun has comme out finaly so i hope that with the stabilisation of weather my mood will change for the better:S
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I totally agree with Yo and John Smith, I could not have said it better myself.
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I’m 21, and I have been on bc for about 4 Years. I switched to a different brand almost a year ago, and I’ve noticed a sever drop in libido. I have absolutely no motivation and no sexual desire anymore. I have An incredible and sexy boyfriend, and I have even found that other men don’t turn me on. Help!
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Loss of libido is a common problem that can affect approximately 1 in 5 men and even more women at some point in their life. It is often linked to professional and personal stress or to important life-changing events such as pregnancy, child birth or breastfeeding. However, an unexpected loss of libido, especially when persistent over months or recurrent, can also indicate an underlying personal, medical or lifestyle problem, and can be upsetting to both partners in a relationship. Read to know more at: http://bit.ly/18nJBHw
Thank you for writing this! A few years ago (at the age of 23, I was diagnosed with Stage Three Adrenal Fatigue. No/low libido was defintiely one of my challenges.. (along with energy, mood, feelings of stress and just not myself at all!)
I am so happy that there are people bringing light to this topic.. as it was hard to find information on it when I was first diagnosed. If I can say anything to others, you are not alone! I blog about Adrenal Fatigue frequently on my website and love connecting with others. Thank you for the additional information..We got this!!
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This is such a fantastic piece. As a younger woman, I didn’t even realize I had such a low libido until I started a serious relationship. I was always consumed with work or school and just had other concerns. But it has been a daunting fact to swallow, especially with me being in the prime of my life dealing with this kind of issue. But seeking medical and professional help really has helped me change things around. This article is absolutely straight forward and hits the point head on! Great work.
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Am just 22 and I don’t feel anything while having sex I don’t enjoy it at all
Guess my libido is low… Could it be the contraceptive, I took contraceptive in the past few years and ever since then i hate sex.. Don’t even like talking about it…
This is a must read to women to be aware of what causes the low libido for women.