Now I’m in my late 30s, the topic of sex drive post-35 is my lived experience! I know that once we women reach our mid-30s, our careers are often in full swing, we might be juggling one or two young children, we’re maybe renovating our dream home, or trying to tackle an additional passion project outside of work – all in all, we are busy and we are tired! It’s no surprise we’re lacking in energy.
The thing is – none of these factors that are making us busy and tired are going anywhere, they’re all here to stay, and will possibly even amplify and grow and intensify in our 30s and 40’s. And we don’t want any of these factors to go away – this is living life to the fullest – it’s just a shame our sex drive seems to slip out of the picture so easily. So, when it comes to your sex drive after 35, what’s a woman to do? How can you turn the clock back to make sure you’re still having a healthy sex life?
I’m going to super simplify this right down – I know you’re pressed for time. If you follow my suggestions you should have your juicy sex drive back.
How your sex drive changes after 35
It’s important to note that the nature of your sexual desire, from a biological standpoint, once you’re 35 and up shifts and changes.
- Before 35 your desire is driven primarily by the biological impetus to reproduce. You should be experiencing libido peaks around ovulation, when your body is tipping you to have sex at the optimal time to get pregnant. The desire should feel physical, and unavoidable. Testosterone and estrogen peaks around ovulation to create the ultimate love potion.
- After 35, your body is not as strongly driven in this direction. Instead of your body keying you to want sex, you may find you need to key your body to want sex and that kind of desire comes from your relationship with your partner and creating a sexy situation for your desire to grow. Your need to set the scene will take precedent, as will the need for foreplay. If your hormones (estrogen, progesterone and testosterone) are in balance then you will still have that physically-sourced desire, but if those hormones are out of balance, this can lead to a steep drop in your sex drive.
There are two ways you can keep your desire at a healthy level, regardless of how that desire changes. Your sex drive should still be present and accessible to you after 35, and you should feel interested in and open to the possibility. The way to keep that interest alive is to give your body what it needs to boost the hormones that power your libido. It’s also about making sure you have the energy. If you’re just plain tired all of the time and have no energy then it won’t matter to you how much you feel you are interested – you’d rather be in the bath with a good book or asleep than having sex.
How to boost your sex drive after 35
There are two focus points for keeping your energy levels up and maintaining a healthy sex drive after 35. By honing in on these elements each day with the right foods, supplements and routines, you will really help yourself to have a great sex life far beyond 35.
- Stabilize your blood sugar – keeping your blood sugar stable throughout the day will keep your energy up into the evening and prevent that 7pm couch crash. Eat every two hours, avoid sugars and most sugar substitutes, and detox from coffee and try a maca root-infused smoothie instead. Imagine your blood sugar level as a calm horizon line – you want to avoid as many waves and spikes in that line as possible. Waves and spikes mean dips and crashes and these pummel your energy levels, leaving you falling asleep 20 minutes into that romantic comedy you really wanted to watch for date night. Stable insulin levels also lead to balanced cortisol and DHEA ratios that increase testosterone production, and make you feel sexier.
- Prioritize good sleep – I can’t say it enough, you need good sleep, and especially when you have so much to handle (what’s that old adage? If you have time to meditate – meditate for 10 minutes. If you have no time to meditate – meditate for an hour). The only way you can be at your optimal best, for your family, your friends, and your boss, is if you are well-rested. Follow my tried-and-tested sleep hygiene protocol. As someone who’s mom to a 2 year-old and living in the middle of Manhattan (the city that never sleeps!) – believe me, my advice on this really works! Good sleep improves your insulin response (see my point above re: blood sugar!), keeps your cortisol levels in check, and stimulates your body to produce good levels of testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. The better your levels of these hormones, the more you will experience your natural libido.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
to your FLO,
Alisa
Good things come in threes:
I want to hear from you!
First, do you have low sex drive?
Second, do you think you might be in perimenopause?
Third, everyone you know is hormonal – spread a little good period karma and share this article on social 😉
Is Your Period Healthy?
How do you know if your hormones are healthy? The answer is in your 5th vital sign – your period.
The color of your flow, frequency of your period, and symptoms you have each month can tell you a lot about your health. There are 5 different V-SIGN TYPES, and knowing which one you have will help you get healthy now and prevent disease in the future.
I have spotting an Pms for a week before I get my period. It’s like two weeks of hell for my boyfriend an I? I am 37. Help
I don’t like how it makes statements like that. I am turning 35 in less than a month and have no kids, so reading things like that make it hard to have any hope. It makes it sound like every person over 35 automatically can’t reproduce anymore and I just can’t afford to listen to that. I also don’t like how it implies that sex is only about hormones. It is so much more than that, as someone can be interested in sex during a time of the month when they are not fertile. It is about the relationship, not just hormones.
Ok well good for you not all of us are in the same boat if this article doesn’t apply to you move on it sounds like you are just fine and don’t need this page I have kids and a career and a very sexually eager partner and i dont wanna do shit it’s not him it’s me so some of us need these suggestions and health just because you dont “like” it doesn’t make it science and true move on please not sure why you’re here sounds like you have it all figured out me I’m gonna start watching my sugar thanks…
I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism since 10 years ago. I’m 36 now. I had tubal ligation at 25. I have had no sex drive foe a week to 10 days-its not like me. I’m also about a week late on my period. I’ve always suffered from horrifying pms. I have periods always so regular and always so painful no matter what I do.
I was diagnosed with PCOS a long time (15+) years ago. My doctor ran a series of blood tests to confirm this diagnosis. I have two young children ages 9 and 6. Now that I’m 45 years old I have very low sex drive and dramatic mood swings throughout my monthly cycle. I’m wondering what the long term effects are of this diagnosis as I age.
Aside from the foods and exercise, you need also to change your sleeping habits or your lifestyle as well. This is important for people who already aged around 35 and up since that is mostly the wage where you start to decrease your libido and sex drive for your partner.
I’m a 40 years old woman, I’m under gone an cyst operation in the year 2013, doctor cut down one of my felopin tube, now I’m 40 years I lost interest in sex and from last three months I got my period 7 or 8 days prior, and less bleeding, also nausea some time, and pain in abdomen some time, not only before or after period also some other time too
First I want to tell u a little bit bout myself. I’m a 41 yr old mother of 2 kids. My oldest is 24 yr old boy my youngest is a girl & she just turned 17. When I was 23 I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I’ve had 7-10 surgery’s to get rid of fibroid cysts the were all over my my fallopian tubes well just everything. I was in do much pain every day, all day, fir months. So I ended up having a full hysterectomy at the age of 25. I’ve tried everything for the menopause but it either didnt work or I didn’t like what it did to me. So I stopped taking everything. So now I’m experiencing low, well I think very low sex drive & i dont stay wet very long. What & how do i fix this, Please Help.
I’m 34 years of age. And my libido is very low. What can be happening. I have been not like this at all, it only started after breastfeeding a 3 years daughter