So, you’ve taken all of my advice on the best foods to boost your sex drive and long since banished your vibrator from the bedroom, now you’re all fired up and ready for the Best Sex Ever, but….your man just isn’t feeling it. Not tonight. Not this week. Not for a while.
Men find themselves suffering from low sex drive for similar reasons to us ladies. Just as you have a hormone cycle that works on approximately a monthly rotation; your partner has a hormone pattern for every 24 hours. Men experiencing suppressed testosterone production won’t experience the peaks they’re supposed to and will start to feel less interested in sex, be less able to get and sustain an erection, and find sex less enjoyable.
This time of year we can get overwhelmed by advice on ways to feel hotter, but I want to give you a practical, realistic, long-game solution to a flagging sex life. Especially as you and your partner get older, you will need to make a conscious effort to boost your sex drive and he needs to do the same, that is - if you want to keep the passion burning until your 50th wedding anniversary!
To help you do this I have some lifestyle tips along with a solid, one-day meal plan that will ensure when your man returns home from work that he’s feeling energized, relaxed, happy and sexy, so that you can make the most of your meticulously planned, much-anticipated date nights.
First of all, my lifestyle suggestions for you and your man:
Plan your date earlier in the week - If you only get one night to yourself per week (or per month) because of the demands of growing kids or growing businesses then instead of focusing on that big, cliched Friday Night event, schedule your date night for a time when you both are less likely to feel tired and wired from the week - Tuesday or Wednesday are my favorite days for a date night, for this reason as we still feel rested from the weekend. Also, it’s so much easier to get a great reservation and the pressure is off from the start!
Get good quality sleep the night before - No different to you, your man needs good quality sleep the night before if he’s going to produce enough testosterone to feel energized and sexy the night of. We all know great sex is a great sleep enhancer, but it’s a cycle in itself - to have great sex you need to not feel fatigued, so start with the sleep. Plus low testosterone can lead to insomnia; addressing this with his diet will set you on the path to pleasure. Make sure he has a relaxing bedtime routine - devices off early, cut back on caffeine, and spot treat those sleep troubles.
Jump for your love - It’s not just a great song from the 80’s! If your man comes home for work stressed out and unable to switch from work mode to home mode, get him on an urban rebounder for ten minutes. Jumping up and down on the rebounder will release and lower the stress hormone cortisol that is pumping through his body, bringing him down to a calmer place and most importantly allowing him to be stimulated by testosterone.
Sexy Time Timing - Syncing your relationship to your hormone cycle has so many benefits. You create this dance of energies where each of you take on the leadership and the receptive role at different times. It’s good to be the one who’s on the receiving end of your partner’s leadership sometimes – it makes sure we stay open to receiving love and pleasure too.
If you align with your hormones you’ll find there’s a right time for an adventurous date, a right time for sharing your hopes, dreams and desires, and a right time for sex...yes, that would be 3pm, in the middle of the afternoon! Afternoon delight, indeed. This concept I teach went viral in December from the daily mail to Details magazine - men wanted to know when the peak sex time is - and it turns out it’s hormonally driven - of course!
BUT if that’s impossible with your work schedules - try first thing in the morning after a really good date night, instead of just before you both go to sleep. That’s when your hormones and his hormones are in perfect harmony to make it the hottest sex it can be!
Now, onto that meal plan. Food is vital for sustained passion in a relationship. Feed yourself and your man in a way that supports your hormones and you’ll see and feel the benefits. Food really is the BEST foreplay!
My one-day sex-boosting meal plan for your man
Breakfast - make it a big one with both eggs and oatmeal on the menu. This will stabilize his blood sugar for the rest of the day and keep him feeling even. Try some of my breakfast ideas - but rather than just one, pick two to serve up in the morning.
Lunch - pack your man a really tasty wholegrain sandwich for work, with real turkey or roast beef (not deli meat) and avocado (a natural source of bioidentical testosterone) plus some folate packed baby spinach. Throw in some snacks to keep him going through the afternoon - sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, almonds, cashews and an apple.
Bonus snack that he eats to make you more attracted to him - YES - Add in some celery sticks - when men eat celery they send out a pheromone called androstenol that will make him extra-attractive to you that evening. It’s the same pheromone commonly used in colognes! This lunch will help his body to make more testosterone, stabilize his blood sugar and reduce his stress levels.
Dinner - Salmon roasted with a spicy mustard sauce and asparagus on the side. Add some cayenne pepper into that sauce to increase circulation and blood flow. Asparagus contains aspartic acid which boosts libido, plus it also has a reputation as a “natural Viagra” to prevent erectile dysfunction issues.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this - the science of your body is on your side!
to your FLO,
Good things come in threes:
I want to hear from you!
First, do you suffer with low libido?
Second, are you getting good sleep?
Third, everyone you know is hormonal – spread a little good ovary karma and share this article on social 😉
Feeling Frazzled, Bloated, and Unsexy?
If you’ve noticed more distance between cycles…or some periods are light and some are super heavy…your sex drive is flat…and you’re more moody in general (anxious, depressed, or both)…and especially if you’re in your mid 30’s and up…
Your hormones may be aging faster than they should. But you can start reversing this process by adding one key micronutrient that you’re likely missing.
Get your free report: The Magic Missing Micronutrient to Get Your Sexy Back.