If you rarely feel in the mood, you’re not the only one. Studies overwhelming show that Americans, and especially young people, are having less sex than they were even a decade ago. Experts say we’re in the middle of a sex recession.
That’s right, we’re in the middle of a full-blown, nationwide slowdown in doing it.
Now, I’m the first to admit there are likely many (many, many) reasons why we’re having less sex, from the screens that go with us everywhere (including bed) to emotional problems in our intimate relationships that pave over our desire to be intimate. There are even very, very positive reasons we might be having less sex: young women (and men) are feeling more empowered to say no or to set better boundaries around what they want—and what they don’t—in the boudoir.
But, for many women, low libido is directly related to imbalanced hormones—a fact that this recent article on the sex recession completely ignores. Hormone dysfunction is at epidemic levels, thanks to common environmental triggers and lifestyle choices. And if we don’t address these underlying hormone issues by adjusting our environment and lifestyle, we will never be able to reclaim our libidos.
So if you’re having less sex than you would like to—if you’re never feeling “in the mood”—the fix starts on the inside.
Yes, a whole bunch of factors might be at play, and they all need to be addressed, but the starting place for women with low libido is hormones—and the very first step every woman should take to balance her hormones is by changing what is on her dinner plate.
From the Kitchen to the Bedroom
Sex is often the first thing to get de-prioritized in our busy lives. I think that’s a shame because not only is sex fun, it’s also great for your health. Sex and orgasm play important roles in regulating your cycle and sustaining your fertility.
You’re not always going to feel like tearing your partner’s clothes off, of course, because sex drive and desire ebb and flow with your natural 28-day hormone cycle. When you are tracking your cycle and paying attention to the changes you notice each week, you’ll find that you have natural shifts in how you feel about your partner, how interested you are in sex, and how much energy you have for gettin’ it on. This is to be expected! You’re likely to notice more desire during the first half of your cycle. That usually peaks at ovulation. Then during the second half of your period, desire slowly wanes until you find yourself less interested during your period.
But if you’re interest in sex during the first half of your cycle has disappeared, or if your desire during this time is lackluster at best, you can reclaim your sex drive by cycle syncing what you eat and when you eat it. Matching your food to your unique needs during each phase of your cycle will support hormone health and boost sex drive.
Click here to find out which foods to eat (and when) to help reclaim your sex drive, and for more help with cycle syncing your diet in general click here. New moms who are struggling to reclaim their libido can find support here.
Although a new, so-called “female Viagra” was released a couple years ago (with much fanfare), prescription numbers have stayed low—and thank goodness. That’s because we know women’s sexuality is not as simple as taking a pill—and that any kind of pill that wants to mess with our libido is going to have a lot of unwanted side effects. What women need doesn’t come in a bottle. We need to be nourished from the inside out, and that starts with what’s on your dinner plate.
Food is the single best way to reset your hormones and rediscover your sex drive. Make hormone-friendly eating your first step on the path to a more libidinous life.
The Best Supplements for Boosting Sex Drive
Supplements offer fantastic support for hormone balance and overall hormonal health, but supplements alone, without any other lifestyle changes, will have limited impact. That’s why I never recommend supplements in isolation. Food first, and then if you need more support, you can look to herbs, adaptogens, and essential micronutrients.
Here are the supplements I recommend if you are looking for more support in addition to your nutrition changes:
The 4 best supplements to boost your sexual health
- How you feel now: You have symptoms of adrenal fatigue with moodiness, PMS, and low-level depression.
- How rhodiola helps: Rhodiola supports the adrenal glands by preventing the breakdown of too much dopamine and serotonin during stressful times, leaving enough for us to remain buoyant and energized. A bonus benefit of rhodiola? It can work fast to change your energy levels (in as little as 30 minutes), so take one if you sense a romantic interlude in your near future!
- How you feel now: You are experiencing symptoms of estrogen dominance, which include weight gain, severe PMS, cramps, bloating, acne, infertility, fibroids, cysts, and irregular or heavy periods.
- How zinc helps: Zinc helps to boost your testosterone production and blocks the enzyme that turns testosterone into estrogen.
(3) Evening Primrose Oil
- How you feel now: You may feel sexual desire, but the sex itself doesn’t feel as good as it used to and you’re not getting big orgasms like you did before.
- How evening primrose oil helps: Evening primrose oil will balance out your progesterone and estrogen levels, increase dopamine, and help you produce more nitric oxide. This is absolutely essential for the dilation of blood vessels and tumescence that leads to bigger and better orgasms.
- How you feel now: Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include muscle cramping, facial tics, restless legs, migraines, poor sleep, fatigue, and PMS. You can ask your doctor for a test for your magnesium levels.
- How magnesium helps: Magnesium makes it harder for your testosterone to bind to proteins and allows for more of it to remain “free” in your bloodstream—which is exactly how you want it to be for a higher sex drive. Higher levels of free testosterone make for more desire. Magnesium also combats anxiety and promotes a positive mood, helping you enjoy yourself more. Magnesium promotes good sleep, too, and studies show that getting enough high quality sleep is essential for healthy sexual desire and genital response.
If your magnesium levels are very low, I recommend taking 360g a day in the form of a supplement. If your levels are within the optimal range, keep them there with a daily serving of dark chocolate (!) and greens.
Share this Sex-Boosting Advice With the Men in Your Life
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Literally! Men can benefit just as much from these supplements as women do, especially magnesium and evening primrose oil. In fact, these two supplements can help men with issues like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
Bonus! What Food to Remove From Your Diet for Better Sex
All this talk of what to add to your nutrition and supplement routine brings me to the opposite: what you should remove from your diet right away.
For Women: Canola Oil. It’s in everything and it raises your levels of omega 6 fatty acids, which crowds out room in your cells for health-promoting omega 3 fatty acids. Studies suggest that boosting omega 3s can increase sexual desire and response in women. So stick to clean fats like olive oil and coconut oil and you’ll feel sexier pronto!
For Men: Soy. Soy is full of phytoestrogens, which can dampen male sex drive. An ex-boyfriend and I experimented with this when he decided to become vegan. He ate and drank soy products for a month and by the end of that time he had zero libido. Within two weeks of stopping all soy, he was back to normal.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
Need more Hormone Help?
If you’re needing some health upgrading, it’s time you started you looking into what’s going on with your hormones.
I’ve designed a 4 day hormone detox and evaluation to help you understand exactly what’s out of whack and how you can start getting back to balance so that your hormones no longer have to suffer.
Click HERE to get your FREE detox and evaluation!