What to do if it’s happening to you!
While it’s been a few years since we’ve seen formal studies on low libido in young women, it’s certainly clear to us here at FLO Living that this issue is still happening, maybe even more so than ever. More and more women coming to our virtual center are reporting that their sex drive barely exists whether they are single or coupled, with or without kids. Having no to low libido is a common symptom that sometimes stands on its own, but more often than not is accompanied by other factors: fertility struggles, menstrual difficulties, adrenal fatigue and/or low energy.
If you can relate, then listen up.
Because we believe that YOU have the power to shift this trend by making simple dietary and mindset changes. And we believe it because we’ve seen it. Women who go through our WomanCode System report incredible changes in their libido and energy, and we want to see the same happen for you. To start, let’s identify what could be the cause of your lack in sexual energy.
Main underlying causes of missing libido in women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s:
- Over-working. Keeping up with insane work schedules in addition to other personal obligations adds up to a common result: burnout. As an article in the NY Times this week, The No-Limits Job points out, the generation of workers in their 20s in creative fields are willing to give most of their time and energy away for very little compensation. But even for those who are a little older and getting paid, it doesn’t stop the over-working dynamic. Too much stress and too much demand on your mental and physical energy results in the depletion of your poor little adrenal glands, the powerhouse glands that are responsible for the output of your stress hormones and most of your testosterone, which is where that desire for sex comes from. Increased output of stress hormones means decreased output of juicy sex hormones. You do the math.
- Birth control or other medications. If you’re on the pill, anti-depressants, or other medication, this something very important to consider when it comes to your sex drive and your hormonal balance, as very often a side-effect is the decrease in sexual desire. We encourage you to talk to your doctor about this potential and partner with other practitioners to find the right kind of support and possibly wean off what is not necessary. Here at FLO, we have information on the birth control pill in particular and would be happy to talk with you about options if you’re considering getting off of it
- Masculine energy dynamics. As a result of the demand on women to perform well in business, to sometimes be the primary breadwinner of the family, and to compete with the go-go-go energy of much of the working world, there has been a tendency for many women to get locked into that kind of “masculine” energy, which can be counter-productive when it comes to getting intimate in the bedroom. Getting turned on is not as simple as pushing a button. The fear and anxiety producing part of the brain – the amygdala – needs to be turned off in order for a woman to get turned on, as Dr. Louann Dr. Brizendine, author of The Female Brain, explains in this article with Oprah and Dr. Oz. “It requires turning off the worrywart circuits in the female brain to have an orgasm,” Dr. Brizendine explains. Whether or not you’re in a partnership with a man, you can see why balancing this energy is so important. And for those who are in relationship with a man, remember that your energy also affects his. The more you are in your masculine zone, the less able he’ll feel to exert his.
What you can do to naturally boost your libido
Now that you’ve identified what might be causing your low sex drive, let’s talk about practical tools you can begin using now to get your sexy back.
- Support your adrenal glands. Especially if a demanding work schedule is a reality for you, you’ll need to take extra good care of your body and in particular your adrenal glands. Alisa recommends Jarrow’s Adrenal Optimizer as one way to begin this process of adrenal support. There’s much more to it, including dietary and lifestyle modifications which we guide you through as part of our online program.
- Make pleasure part of your job. Don’t just survive through your day, thrive within it. Adding pleasure to your day in simple non-sexual ways can greatly improve your ability to feel pleasure in the bedroom. Try bringing flowers to your desk or playing music you love during your morning commute. Indulge in body lotions or perfumes (organic, of course!) that make you feel beautiful. Get regular massages. For more ideas check out our favorite pleasure revolutionary, Mama Gena.
- Take matters into your own hands. To clarify that one, you need to ask for you what you want, but first know what you want. Make time to research your sexuality. Read tasteful erotica and see what turns you on. Read about your anatomy and the physiology behind turn-on, as mentioned above in the book The Female Brain. Once you know yourself better, don’t be shy to ask for assistance or experimentation from your partner. No partner? No problem. Then you can really take matters into your own hands more often, if you know what we mean
Your sex life depends on this
If you’re “not in the mood” all that often, it’s time you started you looking into what’s going on with your hormones.
I’ve designed a quiz to help you understand exactly what’s out of whack and how you can start getting back to balance so that your sex drive no longer has to suffer.